In most cases, it’s ultimately up to the man to decide on the engagement ring he will use to propose to his future wife. But unless a girl is lucky enough to find a man who has not only exquisite taste in jewelry, but also understands her taste in jewelry, she could end up with a ring that doesn’t suit her at all (and a big dilemma over whether or not to tell her new fiancé that she wants something else). Although tradition demands that the ring be a surprise, a lot of modern women are opting to have some input during the selection process. Some of them are even going so far as to point out the exact ring they want. And while this takes a lot of pressure off the prospective groom, it can also make him feel somewhat excluded. So who should really decide on the ring?
The truth is, the woman has to wear the thing for the next 50 years (or more). So she should get what she wants. And while most women are fairly particular about their style, they could have a number of potential rings in mind. So if the man wants to do the choosing but still get something his fiancé will love, he needs to peg her particular style. In a way, it’s more like a collaboration than a single person making a decision (which both parties should get used to since that’s what makes a good marriage work).
But how can a man figure out his fiancé’s style? There are a few ways. First he can look at her jewelry collection and get a feeling for what she likes. He may also ask her to mark pages in a catalog, bookmark websites, or even go to a diamond retailer. Of course, this may tip her off that he’s preparing to pop the big question. Another option is to ask female relatives and friends for help. If a man is sneaky, he might get away with having her pick the ring without even knowing what he’s up to (although most girls are pretty savvy on this score).
In short, the man will almost always choose the ring (although some modern couples discuss the prospect of marriage, including the ring, before the proposal). But if he’s smart, he’ll find a way to suss out what she wants. Either that or he should make sure that the retailer will allow him to trade in the ring he buys (at full value) for one that his fiancé wants (and let her know that the decision is hers).
